Because she was too busy licking paper snowflakes.

red, yellow, blue, and Dan Brown

static electricity

You can't pickle those!

A Homophobic Meatball Sandwich

Jason and the Arrrgonauts

It was my vacuum.

Leslie Nielsen Ratings

You ate my socks!

This is an actual punchline that was left in an office that was used by Super Dave Osborne. True story.

That is NOT a handshake!

a pro-life cannibal

Four. One to screw it in, one to buy the clown wig, and two to shave the dog.

A Mormon port-o-potty

Corey Haim's molar.

lamp...lamp...lamp...Porkchop!

She had dinoplasty.

This one comes straight from one of our loyal readers. Thanks for the contribution John.

An inside out hobo.

Smokey the Bare

Nobody puts baby in the corner!

That's not my shotgun wound!

Zombie Sir Mix-a-Lot

Bolo tie macaroni

Ah, that's where I put my toothbrush.

A feminist tuba.

Swine flew!

Four. One to screw it in, and three to go shopping at Patagonia.

Christopher Walken on broken glass.

If I wanted to talk to your mother I would have rubbed the lamp.

Professor Platypus

He was jealous of the thermometer.